It's been over a month since my last blog post. I've been writing a devotional book, cleaning and organizing the house, getting the children back into a routine, and watching tiny house videos on YouTube. It sounds like a lot maybe, but considering all the things I've been wanting to get accomplished... Well, I feel pretty lazy.
This has been an incredibly hard year. On one hand, I'm amazed by all the Blessings and Love God and His people have poured out on us. On the other hand, I feel dry, parched, and deserted. I waver back and forth like I'm trying to stand on a raft on a lake in the middle of a thunderstorm with the waves tossing me around.
"For I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground: I will pour my spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thine offspring: And they shall spring up as among the grass, as willows by the water courses." Isaiah 44:3-4
- It's okay to feel this way. God put so many examples in His Holy Word for us to see His people struggle. We get the idea that we shouldn't ever feel anything but love and bliss because we are Christians. Sometimes we just need to give ourselves permission to feel bad.
- It's okay to cry out. Sometimes I have to just step outside and scream. I live in the country with the nearest neighbor 1/2 mile away from me. If you live in town, maybe lock yourself in the bathroom to let it out. You might also be able to go to church on a week day and request a time to be alone to cry out to the Lord.
- Allow the Lord to comfort and heal you. Sometimes we allow the enemy to convince us we deserve to hurt. In case of the loss of a loved one, sometimes we can feel like we aren't honoring their memory if we feel anything but pain. We will always miss that special piece of our lives, but it doesn't mean we can't heal and let the Lord turn something painful into something beautiful. Bittersweet memories can become a testament to others.