I need a Craftaholics Anonymous Association. I really do. I have WAY too many crafty things I enjoy. I have UFOs bursting the seams of our poor little 100+ year old house. UFOs in Craft World are "Un-Finished O.... Projects... What does that O stand for? I forgot. You get the picture thought don't you? We have no "Craft Room" in this house. When this house was originally built, it didn't have a bathroom. The outhouse was still outside when we bought the place. I hated to see it go. It was too ricketty & Paul couldn't save it. Poor old thing. How I wish we had an outhouse now. I really do. Yes, yes, I know what an outhouse is like.
What was I talking about? Oh, Yes. CAA. We'd have to have a sign on the door at the meeting, "No scissors or hot glue guns allowed inside the premises." Then there'd be someone like me who'd try to sneak in a seam ripper or crochet hook so they'd have to change it to, "No pointy or electric objects." Someone would be in the corner on their smart phone pretending to text looking at pinterest quilt boards, so we'd have to confiscate them too. It would be very hard not to talk about the new patterns and ideas we'd come across over the past week. (I don't think we could DARE be left a month without a meeting! Fabric stores call too loudly, even from miles and miles away. I hear Prairie Quilt now. "Come see us Dawnita. We're having a fantastic SALE....")
We'd shyly walk in to the meeting, warmly greeting each one, because we all know who we are... We'd sit in our little circle that some perfectionist made perfectly circular and some of us would have to scoot our chairs out of line just a little bit for comfort, wishing they'd do triangles or octagons with the chairs occasionally. You'd know who the perfectionist was, because she'd turn red and start to fidget.
I don't understand those people. I'm a bit OCD about some things, but perfection is not one of them. I strongly believe the little imperfections in life are what gives character, and I encourage those in my sewing and craft projects. It IS too bad when a sleeve hem gives up completely in the middle of a wedding (sorry about that T.)...
We'd start the meeting like any AA type, "Hello. My name is Dawnita and I'm a Craftaholic."
"Hello Dawnita" (You know they are all biting their tongues, waiting in anticipation to find out what crazy caper I've been up to this week. What wonderful fabric I've come across. Or whether I tried that particular pinterest idea they repinned a few days ago.)
"How was your week Dawnita?" The only non-crafter in the room would ask, hoping to keep the meeting under control so she could go home to her perfectly kept and uncluttered house early tonight.
"Well, my week started good. I had the children bring all the fabric I'd had stashed in the camper into the living room. I was even encouraged, because we had a path around the living room, sort of... You only had to step over a few smaller piles to get through. I threw out one box and one bag."
Everyone applauds and congratulates me.
"But... They were both empty."
Everyone sighs in understanding. The leader is starting to get nervous. Her evening was starting to crumble; she could tell.
"My mother said she wanted whatever I don't, so I packed a trash bag full for her." I say with a smile, then droop a bit as I add, "Then three boxes for me, but I actually threw away one whole bag of scraps."
Gasps shimmer through the room, some in horror and some in admiration. The leader gets a tad hopeful, then remembers who is talking. She sighs and resigns herself to missing her favorite non creative show.
I take a deep breath and begin again, "After that, my back started hurting and I needed to rest. I got on pinterest just to look at some organizing ideas so I'd know what I could do with what I kept." The leader slowly shakes her head while everyone else leans forward eagerly. "I ran across the cutest little tutorial for a zippered pencil bag, that I think would be perfect to hold crochet hooks too. I cut out four and sewed up two. They are so neat!"
Everyone starts asking questions and a few start sneaking toward the basket with the smartphones... The leader does a facepalm in exasperation, "So, that means you have TWO more UFOs to deal with, right?"
Everyone becomes so silent, we actually hear the pin drop which one lady has been trying to conceal while secretly doing a small cross stitch project. My face shows hurt at the leader's obvious disappointment, "Well, yes. I guess so. I also found 15 other UFOs I'd forgotten about. I stacked them neatly in a laundry basket to get to as soon as possible."
The leader caringly reaches over and pats my hand, "Dawnita, what did you eat this week?"
I look at her in shock and stammer, "Well, we had a few leftovers and some trail mix. I did stop and help one of the children make cookies, I have a new recipe now... " She's giving me that LOOK... "And Paul picked up a pizza." I admit, ashamed of myself.
"So," She begins with her "knowing" voice. "You started going through your stash, got caught up and sidetracked, and forgot to eat or feed your family this week, Right?"
"Yes ma'am." I'm almost in tears now and the other ladies are sniffling in sympathy. "I did get two more bags filled for my mom and threw away a whole trashcan full. The path around the livingroom is more like a road now. You don't have to step over anything, unless you want to sit down somewhere. Isn't that good?" I added hopefully.
She smiles at me pityingly and all the other ladies cheer.
"Well, your assignments for this next week are to continue diminishing your stash and try to find the carpet throughout your house. I look forward to hearing about your improvements next week."
As we walk out the door, all the Craftaholics make sure to get the bag pattern pin and my new cookie recipe.
Today I sit wondering which will win. The pile(s) of stash or pinterest?
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After my Coffee! Opens at 11 am CST on Thursdays. I've tried to make the Rules simple: