Work from Home Dads – Helping Mom Survive

I’m going to be honest here.  When I married, my husband and his dad already had a 15 year old electrical business.  Since my mother-in-law passed away just four short years into our marriage, I have been secretary, receptionist, and sometimes go-fer or even an extra hand in the field.  

There are some things I absolutely LOVE about this arrangement.

• If I want, I can load up the children and go with him. This is great when he is working far from home or near something or someone we want to visit.
• If I need a break, he can take the children for the day. (After they are trained and if his work for the day allows.)
• If needed, he can usually take a day off to help, in case of sickness or something special.
• Much of his work is at home, so we have him for most meals and he’s only a few steps away, in the building or at the computer.

Sometimes it is difficult having him home so much.  Some challenges are:

• More Clutter – He’s a man and tends to make as much of a mess as the children. Don’t get me wrong, I have a very considerate husband but he is oblivious to some things a woman more naturally notices.
• More Noise – He’s on the phone a lot. This makes it very hard to read aloud to the children or listen to them read to me.
• Customers – Since business is at home, we also never know when visitors will show up. I SELDOM get to have a jammie day or stay in my robe until noon. I usually dress as soon as I’m up and I insist the children do the same.
• Vacations – What’s that?  Face it, if he’s not working, he doesn’t get paid.  If it’s not work-related, we don’t go.  Even on “family outings” he’s on call.
• Visiting – Time with friends and family usually begins or ends with him helping them fix something.

Here are some things I've learned (or am still learning) to make it easier for me:

• Pray for God to show what attitudes and actions you need to change and pray for health and wisdom for both of you.
• Count it a blessing every single day. (Even if it’s through gritted teeth.  Oops, back to #1…)
• Make sure to complement him regularly for the things he IS considerate about.
• Let it go.  Paul will never, ever use a desk. His pile at the kitchen table is constant and will not change. I try to be considerate when I HAVE to move it, otherwise I’ve just accepted it as part of our lives…
• Simplify everything.  Budgeting is nearly impossible.  I've learned not to start with averages, but to start with bare necessities.  Anything extra we want or need comes out of tax refunds.  Scheduling is also very hard.  We have basic routines to get the most important things done.  Everything else depends on the events of the day.
• Enjoy the adventure!  Your attitude is so important.  I still struggle with being truly flexibility.  If mom is happy, it’s much easier for everyone else to be as well.